Focus on the part of you that shines. Pretend for a moment that you are a big fan of you. What would you say? What are five things that are wonderful about you! Write down two or more affirmations to say aloud or to yourself to counter doubts and criticisms when they come from yourself or others.
Have fun with this.
Turns out you can stream lectures from some of the nation’s top universities such as MIT, UCLA, Yale and Harvard for free. There’s no homework or exams, no labs, just you, your curiosity and your computer. A few of the subjects covered are Entrepreneurship, History, Religious Studies, Architecture, and Psychology.
It’s snowing again. A perfect time to stay home, make a cup of my favorite mango green tea and learn something new.
If you think you can’t visualize, try this. Let the negative stress out of your body, pick up a photo and study it closely; then close your eyes and try to remember what you saw. If you see anything resembling the picture, you are visualizing. Now see yourself achieving your goal in great and loving detail. Make sure you see it through your own eyes rather than watching yourself from the outside.
Have fun with this.
As a writer, I have learned the hard way that the first five story ideas I come up with are usually old and tired. It’s only when I push for the sixth or seventh idea that I can even hope to come up with something original.
When you back away from danger or a difficulty, your mind goes on heightened alert according, to Dutch researchers. So when you’re facing a tough question, try pacing backward and see what answer comes. You just might want to do it in private though, so people won’t think you’ve lost your mind completely.
For those people in California, Arizona, and Florida, enjoy the warm weather. It was five below this morning in Minnesota today.
According to a Greek study, eating food fast reduces the release of appetite regulating hormones into your bloodstream. Spoil your dinner with 70 calories worth of nuts 20 minutes before you eat to jump start the release of feel-full hormones so you’ll eat less when you get to the table.
Time for the New Year’s resolutions and this seemed like a good one.
Sadly for so many, the holidays are an extremely lonely and difficult time. One of the best gifts you can give is to simply spend time with someone who is alone.
Interesting note. I discovered this little book while waiting for an eye exam yesterday, a little holiday miracle in itself as I had another tip ready to go.
Have a happy holiday
And while you’re at it, give yourself the gift of not expecting people to be who you want them to be. Assume they’re not going to change and love them anyway.
Happy holidays and love to you on this icy Minnesota day.
Sandy
Peter and I celebrate with a small gift and a special dinner whenever either one of us accomplishes anything we consider worthwhile. It could be a sale of a poem or a short story, another thousand hits on my blog or it could be a nice rejection from an agent or editor. This encourages us to keep going when it’s tempting to give up.
If you are waiting for someone to encourage you or ackowledge you or praise your work, you may be waiting a long, long time. Natalie Cole placed an ”Encourage Yourself” sign on her computer, which I think is a terrific idea.
If you’re wondering what to give someone you care about this holiday season, but don’t have much money, how about buying a nice card (or making one) and writing down five things you really like about that person. This is a unique gift that most people would never ever receive otherwise.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving,
The basic condition for being happy is our awareness that we are happy. Take a moment to stop the busyness in your mind and be aware of whatever it is you personally have to be happy about right now.
One thing I know for sure from my own experience is that happiness moments can be found even in the darkest times.
The author, a psychiatrist, draws on hostage-negotiation techniques to instruct readers on how to deal with angry bosses or self destructive management teams.
Being listened to and acknowledged is a good thing for everyone..
Love to you all on this hauntingly beautiful fall day.
Sandy
So many times, I have done things and made choices that made me feel worse afterwards. I have learned the hard way that choosing to act in a way that I can feel proud of, makes me genuinely happy. Be good, be happy. Simple but true.
It might be difficult to discover and it might be something small. It’s good to remember that no one is 100 percent difficult. Once you figure this out, you will be able to deal with that person. It helps me to remember that no one is perfect, including me. Life is usually 80/20 in the best of circumstances.
Do yourself a favor. Take a minute now and then today to taste that cup of coffee, to notice what a lovely day it is, to revel in how good it feels simply to be alive. Taking a minute to savor the lovely little details in your day doesn’t really interrupt anything else you’re doing and can add a bit of happiness to your life.
As soon as I finish this, I am going to take a minute to savor a sip of cranberry juice.
A negative attitude towards yourself can also hurt you. Whenever you think something negative about someone or yourself, make an effort to change it to something positive or at least none-judgmental. If you do this enough, it will change your life. Good luck with this.
Or try saying, ”I understand your opinion, and if I were in your place, I might feel the same way.” Something I learned in an opinion polling class was that you can’t really change anybody’s mind unless they are on the fence in the first place. Best not to waste your energy.
Peace on this cool, wet October day,
Sandy
They also have many friends, strong family ties, a healthy dose of self-esteem, rank very low on neuroticism and do not act or feel their chronological age. On the other hand they were never obese nor did they smoke significantly.
Something to think about on this cool September day.
Sandy
At each point, determine what your next step is, and do that. You can learn what you need to know as you go along.
Goodbye Elaine. Have an amazing journey.
As Oprah Winfrey discovered when her relatives kept hitting her up for money, you don’t share your wealth, you share their poverty. Her response these days is simply, “I am not a bank.”
You can have your emotions as long as you have them, but you don’t need to act on them. The anger or sadness you are feeling may be inside of you at present, but it isn’t who you are. Try shifting your thoughts from, “I am angry” to “there is anger or sadness” within me.”
Good luck with this and love to you on this fine September morning.
Sandy
It’s a losing battle to attempt to win the approval of someone who does not care for you. The only thing that will happen is your self esteem will be shot. You can’t like everybody and everybody can’ t like you. So stop giving that person free rent in your head, try not to take it personally and avoid them if you possibly can.
It’s fall here. Almost time to pick the Concord grapes that are overwhelming our back fence.
“You have to force yourself to get out and do something,” an elderly food demonstrator at my local grocery store said to me when I asked her about her job. I thought about what she said later and have been thinking about it ever since. She’s right. It’s easy to sit around and do nothing. Sometimes you just have to push yourself, especially if you want to accomplish anything.
Asking yourself that question puts everything in perspective. More often than not what seems of great concern today will be just an irrelevant blip in your life a year from now. The interesting subhead to the book states, “Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things from Taking Over Your Life.”
Another lovely, precious, fleeting summer day,
We are all so busy working and worrying about whatever it is we need to do next, that we seldom take time to do something simply because we enjoy it. Today, ask yourself what will give you pleasure and then make an effort to do it.
I’m having fun with this idea. Hope you are too.
Everyone likes to talk. No one likes to listen, or so it seems. Paying attention to people will set you apart from the herd and help you to become more successful. I think of listening and paying attention as a kind of gift I can give to people, which benefits everybody, including me.
The first tomato from our garden was delicious.
Two other tricks that have been extensively tested in the lab and have practical applications are: putting on a happy face really does lift your spirits and you can make yourself somewhat angry or afraid just by making those expressions. So whenever you must face a difficult situation, take a private moment to yawn and smile. If nothing else, you’ll feel better.
Striving for perfection can be demoralizing. It’s like trying to work with your inner critic looking over your shoulder for mistakes, correcting you every step of the way and berating you for your failings. Let go of the need to be perfect. Think: “Progress not Perfection.”
It is the daily act of trying to accomplish something meaningful, not the successful completion of a task, that gives us our greatest satisfaction. So do your best today and let the future take care of itself.
Time to pick some peas and lettuce. Happy delicious summer.
Handling rejection is necessary if you want to succeed. Too many people just give up. They don’t realize that to get to the yeses, you first must hear the no’s. Analyze your failures and make the necessary corrections, then move on. The sooner you do, the sooner you will get to that yes.
Using the word “because” increases the persuasiveness of your request. Studies have shown that using ”because” increases the likelihood that someone will say yes to your request by fifty percent. As in, Would you please move this furniture because the rain will ruin it otherwise.
Do take care on this very hot day,
Sandy
A habit takes 21 days to establish and it will take at least that long to break. When you are trying to break a habit, give yourself frequent rewards for good behavior. Positive reinforcement works on people as well as animals. Know you will be mightily tempted when you are feeling stressed. When you do slip, don’t beat yourself up which could make matters worse, just remind yourself that what you are doing is difficult but in your own best interest. It helps me to remember, “Progress Not Perfection.”
I have regretted a lot of things in my life, but I have never once regretted being kind. In fact just the opposite. Years later, it still gives me pleasure to remember those times.
A bright blessed day to you,
When I get to obsessing about something that I can do nothing about, I do simple math problems in my head. This changes my focus from the right side of the brain (the feeling, intuitive side) to the left side of the brain (the detail-oriented, logic side). The result is usually peace and a good night’s sleep. Give it a try and see if this works for you when thinking about someone or something is keeping you up nights.
This is a repeat of #69 – we are on vacation this week.
Take a moment to enjoy all the little, beautiful things in your life today.
To build trust and be a person of integrity, be careful when you give your word that you really mean what you are saying. Know that most of the time what people think has everything to do with them and nothing to do with you. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings. By doing your best, which can change from day to day, you can stop being filled with regret about what you did or didn’t get right.
All the successful people that Napoleon Hill interviewed for his book had two traits in common: They looked for the good in every situation and they were positive. Don’t let your own negative thoughts keep you down. Try always to be looking for the good. It could change your life.
What might you accomplish if you did five things every day in the years to come towards a big goal of yours? If five is too many, try two or three. According to Robert Collier, the principle of doing something every day towards a big goal is powerful.
Clutter clouds your mind and saps your energy. My method of clutter control is to set the timer for 15 minutes, then spend that time clearing something out. After 15 minutes, I get a reward like a chapter of a book and a piece of candy. Treating myself like one of Pavlov’s dogs works for me. I am always surprised at how much clutter I can get rid of in 15 minutes of concentrated effort.
This is something I learned years ago in a behaviour modification class I took at the University of Minnesota. That class changed my life.
Here’s to simplifying our lives.
As a child, Tiger Woods listened to “subliminal messages” from audiotapes and also watched motivational videos. At thirteen, his father who had a degree in psychology and Special Forces military training had him work with Dr. Jay Brunza, a psychologist who coached him on relaxation, visualization and also focusing with hypnotic elements to attain peak performance under pressure.
I think of it as practice, practice, practice mentally as well as physically.
Passive income is the money earned without the need to have a job — for example interest from a fixed c.d. bonds or dividends from owning stocks. When large enough to cover your monthly expenses, you can live on this passive income and become financially free. I look at it this way, if you save a dollar, you will get interest on that dollar every year for the rest of your life. If you’re wondering how you can begin doing this, read #105.
“If the private voice starts ripping on the players or getting defensive, attacking, negative or pessimistic, trouble is not far behind,” Loehr said.” To condition the private voice to tell a positive story, he suggests that the player literally write down the words to use when doubts about their abilities come in and during high pressure times.
I find that by keeping the sentence short and rhyming, I am more likely to remember it when I’m feeling stressed.
Yay. The birds are back and bits of green are popping up here and there.
“Just for Today” is a tiny card a man in AA gave me. I have carried it around in my wallet for years and refer to it often. Here are a few items from the card. Just for today I will try to live through this day only and not tackle my whole life problems at once. Just for today I will be happy. I will adjust myself to what is and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will look as well as I can and dress becomingly. I will do at least two things I don’t want to do. There’s more, but you get the idea.
A dark rainy day, but precious just the same,
Minding my own business and letting other people mind theirs is not always an easy thing to do because so often it’s so clear to me what someone else should do. Everyone has their own path and their own lessons to learn just as I do. And in the end, I am powerless over others just as they are powerless over me. Easier said than done, of course.
Funny bumper sticker: “Oh no! Not another learning experience.”
In other words, you can’t stop the clock. No matter how upsetting or difficult something or someone is right now, time will pass and you will move on. I personally find this a very comforting thought.
Oh yay oh joy, spring has arrived in Minnesota.
A funny blog name: I’mnotasnobImSwedish. As a scandanavian myself, I can relate.
If you’re wondering who to trust these days, here are a few things to look for. Does the person show up on time, keep their word, tell the truth, show compassion for others? When they say something is going to happen, does it happen or do they make promises and not keep them? Have you ever witnessed that person lying, cheating, or being unkind? Simple questions maybe but the way we do anything is the way we do everything.
Make an assessment quickly and have faith in it. Successful people make decisions quickly whereas the not so successful over-analyze everything and are slow to make a decision. In other words, learn to trust your intuition.
Keep it simple. Go to the bank and set up three savings accounts: one for emergencies, one for investments and one for vacations and miscellaneous. Have the bank transfer money automatically to all three accounts every month.
Make it a rule to never touch the funds in your investment account except to invest in something that will make you money. Whenever you get a raise, add to all three accounts. If you can’t pay yourself first and pay your bills too, reduce your costs in other areas so you can. If the amount you have is too small to start a bank account, then put the money in three envelopes. It doesn’t matter how small the amount is, it just matters that you begin.
Just as important as the above is to keep track of your money and what you are spending it on. Just becoming conscious of your spending will change your financial life.
If you want to improve, stop telling yourself how badly you’re doing. You do a lot of damage when you run yourself down to yourself and others. Nobody holds a good opinion of someone who has a low opinion of themselves. So start talking to yourself in a positive way. Don’t be your own worst enemy.
I’m a little late getting this out today — must be the computer.
