A handwritten thank you note stands a much better chance of being retained and staying in someone’s mind for much longer than an e-mail. So if you want to stand out in someone’s mind, write a hand written thank you note when someone does something nice for you.
#256 – Drink more water – The Blue Zones: Lessons for Living Longer by Dan Buettner
Water helps to reduce inflamation in the body and extend life. A German study also found that drinking 17 ounces of water (a little more than two cups) can increase calorie-blasting 24 percent. The general recommendation is to drink eight eight ounce glasses of liquid every day. My own personal regime is to start the day with two glasses of water followed with a good cup of coffee as a reward.
#255 – A satisying marriage is a result when partners are similar and share the same values and goals. “Happiness Advice from Life’s Graying Edge” by Jane Brody, NY Times,D7 January 10, 2012
What I have learned over the years is that excitement is not love and that for a marriage to last, friendship, mutual respect, common interests, a willingness to give and take and admit it when you’re wrong as well as a deep love and concern for each other are all necessary.
Check out my e-book, Evaleen the Queen, a tale of transformation during the Great Depression now available at http://goo.gl/AQlat
#254 – The essentials to happiness are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. Immanuel Kant, philosopher
Once you have the basic essentials to life, which are air, water, food, shelter and clothing, then it’s time to work on having a good life. I found out a long time ago that having material things, unless they add comfort or quality to my life, do not make me happy and often become a burden because they require so much care. What makes me happiest of all is being with people I love, being able to write every day and coming up with new adventures.
Check out my e-book, Evaleen the Queen, a tale of transformation during the Great Depression now available at http://goo.gl/AQlat
#253 – Instead of saying no, say this doesn’t work for me. from: The Power of a Positive No by William Ury
Ury recommends coming up with the above phrase to help you stand your ground. Two other possibile phrases you can use, “I prefer not to,” or “I’m no longer willing to do that.” Repeat as needed. If you’ve been slow to respond, you can say, “I’ve given it some thought and my answer is no.” Don’t worry if you don’t do it perfectly. It gets easier with time.
Check out my e-book, Evaleen the Queen, a tale of transformation during the Great Depression now available at http://goo.gl/AQlat
#252 – “What we appreciate appreciates.” M J Ryan
According to a Neuroscience study you can tune your own brain to joy by simply counting your blessings. When you experience any positive emotion, including gratitude, your brain actually functions better. I tried this when feeling down and was amazed how well it worked. And by the way, give the best gift of all this holiday season by telling someone you care about, the five things you most appreciate about them.
Check out my e-book, Evaleen the Queen, a tale of love and transformation now available at http://goo.gl/AQlat
Thanks to Abby F for this tip and have a great holiday and love to you all.
#251 – What you think of me is none of my business – Terri Whittaker
The truth is, it is our egos that crave approval and fear disapproval. If we can separate ourselves from our ego, we can stop taking everything so personally. When I get to worrying about what other people think, it helps to remind myself that most people are too busy worrying about themselves and what other people think to worry about me.
#250 – Enjoy Every Sandwich, a book by Lee Lipsenthal
Studies prove that older people are happier than younger people and as I grow older myself, I’m beginning to understand why. Time is too precious to waste it with the haters or the chronic complainers or worry about what people think of me or things I can do nothing about. These days, my goal is to simply stop and enjoy all those little precious moments that occur every single day.
My short stories and a book are available at:
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/96207
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/63557
#249 – “Live without expecting too much from others.” From: Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.
People are not here to please or satisfy us, nor do they owe us anything. Our personal responsibility is to do our best even when others fall short of our expectations. Being reliable and dependable ourselves helps us to grow and become stronger.
Check out my e-book Evaleen the Queen at http://goo.gl/AQlat, an inspirational work of fiction about a young woman who starts a business during the Great Depression in spite of terrible personal and financial circumstances.
#248 – A Serving of Gratitude May Save the Day – John Tierny, New York Times
“Cultivating an attitude of gratitude has been linked to better health, sounder sleep, less anxiety and depression, higher long term satisfaction with life and kinder behaviour to others, including romantic partners,” Tierny says in todays article in the New York Times. One study stated that writing just one sentence of five things you are grateful for once a week made people happier and more optomistic than the control group. They also reported fewer physical problems, slept longer at night and were also less aggressive.
Something to think about during the stressful holidays.
Evaleen the Queen, a tale of love and transformation now available as an e-book at http://goo.gl/AQlat
#247 – Choose the things that make you feel good about who you are, that you can be proud of. From: Life Lessons by Elisabeth Kubler Ross and David Kessler
Identify three things you liked and three things you disliked about all your past jobs. Then ask yourself why you liked or disliked them. Your unique strengths and skills will start to emerge very clearly.
Evaleen the Queen, a tale of love and transformation now available as an e-book at http://goo.gl/AQlat.
#246 – “If you tell the truth, everything will work out.” Tom Hanks
Incidentally a few ways to tell if someone is lying to you from Bill Brown, a former FBI agent. Liars are nervous, will try to change the conversation, cover their mouth, and will look away then right back at you to see if you believe them.
Check out my e-book Evaleen the Queen at http://goo.gl/AQlat, a tale of transformation about a young woman who starts a business during the Great Depression in spite of terrible family circumstances.
#245 – “Change your focus, and you change your level of happiness” Anthony Robbins
Giving into your negative, self destructive thoughts is damaging to you and you alone. How much better we would all be if we could switch our focus to something positive or at least neutral, especially when we’re obsessing about something we can do nothing about.
Check out my e-book Evaleen the Queen at http://goo.gl/AQlat, an a tale of transformation about a young woman who starts a business during the Great Depression in spite of terrible family circumstances.
#244 – “Focus on what you can accomplish rather than obstacles.” Outswimming the Sharks by Harvey McKay
It’s easy to become overwhelmed by the demands of a long term project. Thanks to my brother Terry and his advice to do a project little by little instead of all at once, I have managed to finish big projects like writing books and smaller projects like painting a room.
Check out my e-book Evaleen the Queen at http://goo.gl/AQlat, an inspirational work of fiction about a young woman who starts a business during the Great Depression in spite of terrible family circumstances.
#243 – “Slow down you’re moving too fast.” A line from “Feelin Groovy” by Simon and Garfunkel
Life seems to be speeding up to a ridiculous degree and it’s not just because I am getting older. Savor the hours and minutes rather than just counting them. Do everything as well as possible instead of as fast as possible. Give yourself permision to watch less television, take more walks, stop checking your e-mail every five minutes, take a break during your work day. Take time to enjoy your life instead of rushing through it unconsciously.
Check out my e-book Evaleen the Queen at http://goo.gl/AQlat, an inspirational work of fiction about a young woman who starts a business under terrible family circumstances during the Great Depression.
#242 – Know how to listen, and you will profit even from those who talk badly. Plutarch 120 AD
To focus your attention when someone is speaking to you, clasp your hands together, thus preparing your body and mind to listen. By doing so, you are switching from talking, doing, or living in your head to listening. I see listening as a way to learn, a gift I can give someone that doesn’t cost me anything and a kindness.
Check out my e-book Evaleen the Queen at http://goo.gl/AQlat, an inspirational work of fiction about a young woman who starts a business under terrible family circumstances during the Great Depression.
#241 – “Most folks are as happy as they make up their mind to be.” Abraham Lincoln
You are in charge of what’s going on in your own head. Don’t let your negative thoughts sink you. Just for today, choose to be happy.
Check out my e-book Evaleen the Queen at http://goo.gl/AQlat, an inspirational work of fiction about a young woman who starts a business under terrible family circumstances and during the Great Depression.
#240 – “Sometimes you have to be willing to fake it.” George Clooney
“I had to stop going to auditions thinking, Oh I hope they like me. I had to go in thinking I was the answer to their problem,” Clooney said. “You could feel the difference in the room immediately.” He also said in the same article that you have to be willing to fail.
Check out my e-book Evaleen the Queen at http://goo.gl/AQlat, an inspirational work of fiction about a young woman who starts a business under terrible family circumstances and during the Great Depression.
#239 – Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own voice. Steve Jobs.
In an incredible talk given at the Ted conference, Steve Jobs talks about how important it is to listen to yourself, pursue your dreams and look at life’s setback as a gift. http://www.ted.com/talks/steve_jobs_how_to_live_before_you_die.htm
Check out my e-book, Evaleen the Queen, an inspirational work of fiction about a young woman who starts a beauty business during the Great Depression. Now available at: http://goo.gl/AQlat
And thanks to Yocheved Amrami. See her amazing photographs at: http://yochevedamrami.com/
#238 – The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing. Stephen Covey
It’s so easy these days to get distracted doing things that will not get the main job done. Fight the urge to do something else that is not as important or a priority. Remembering to keep the main thing the main thing will help us all to focus on our most important goals. Good luck today!
Check out my e-book, Evaleen the Queen, an inspirational work of fiction about a woman who starts a business during the Great Depression. Now available at: http://goo.gl/AQlat
#237 – “Move out of your comfort zone.” Brian Tracy, Author and Business Consultant.
“You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new,” he says. “That’s when you separate from the pack, that’s when the magic happens.” Bonnie Hammer, president of NBC U and Cable Studios says she made it to the top of the cable industry by always seeking new challenges, “especially if they were just a little out of reach.”
Check out my new e-book, Evaleen the Queen, an inspirational work of fiction now available at: http://goo.gl/AQlat
#236 – “Buy experiences instead of things.” E. W. Dunn, D. T. Gilbert and T. D. Wilson, Happiness Researchers
“Buy many small pleasures instead of a few big ones. Pay now for things you can look forward to and enjoy later.” This came from David Brooks, writing an editorial in today’s New York Times titled, ”The Haimish Line,” a Yiddish word that suggests warmth, domesticity and unpretentious conviviality.
Evaleen the Queen now available at: http://goo.gl/AQlat
#235 – “For it is in giving that we receive.” St. Francis of Assisi
One thing I know for sure is that in writing Tuesday Tips, I have received so much. When I started Tuesday Tips, I was feeling like giving up. As a writer, it was just too hard to get anywhere even though I’ve loved to write most of my life. One day while I was standing in the living room feeling sorry for myself, this little voice in my head said I should send out a weekly positive thinking e-mail to stay in touch with and to help my grandchildren navigate their lives. And so I began. When other people asked to join, the e-mail grew to the point where it was easier to do a blog, which I’ve been doing now for a few years. I recently published my first book, an e-book called Evaleen the Queen. It’s a work of fiction about someone who also struggles to succeed. Coming up with a new tip every week has helped me to continue on. By the way, my grandkids are doing fine with or without my advice. Peace.
Evaleen the Queen can be found at: http://goo.gl/AQlat
#234 – “When you’re hurt by somebody, they own you.” Marie Osmond
When you’re ready, actively choose to forgive the person who’s offended you. Forgiveness takes away the power the other person continues to wield in your life. It helps me to remember that continuing to be hurt, ultimately hurts me most of all.
#233 – “Self-esteem and self image are developed by how we talk to ourselves.” Self Esteem – Second Edition. Matthew McKay, Ph.D & Patrick Fanning
Here are some ways to stop your inner critic from sabotaging you and hurting your self esteem. Catch your inner critic in the act, try to figure out if it’s being helpful or hurtful, and if it’s being hurtful, talk back as in “stop that right now.” Research indicates that to change behavior, it is more effective to stop telling yourself negative things than to just tell yourself positive things.
Incidentally, it takes around 21 days to change a bad habit.
#232 – “Fail small – win big.” Ron Weber, CEO of IBUYOFFICESUPPLIES.com
Weber’s marketing strategy is used by most successful entrepeneurs, according to Dileep Rao, president of Inter-Finance Corporation and a nationally recognized author. What it means is to try the small things, ride the ones that succeed and dump the ones that don’t.
#231 – “Do the one thing you think you cannot do.” Oprah Winfrey
“Fail at it,” she says. “Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it.”
I know one thing for sure, if you don’t at least try, nothing will happen.
#230 – Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. First line from AA’s serenity prayer.
There will always be something or someone in your life that you cannot change. You cannot make someone like you who doesn’t, you cannot make someone change who doesn’t want to, you can’t make something happen just because you want it to happen. The only thing you can do is to accept what you cannot change, change what you can and as the prayer states, have the wisdom to know the difference.
#229 – “Nothing is worth more than this day.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
“It went by so fast,” my mother said right before she passed away at 86. My sister also died at a relatively young age. Because of those two events, I try to remember how lucky I am to have this moment, this time, this life and to make it count and enjoy each day.
Carpe diem.
Sandy
#228 – “Do not give in too much to feelings. An overly sensitive heart is an unhappy possession on this shaky earth.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.
It helps to remember that bad feelings, sad feelings, hurt feelings, even happy feelings are temporary. Also when I know from painful experience that if I ask a certain question, my feelings are going to get hurt and nothing will be gained, I’m not going to ask the question. The older I get, the more I feel the need to protect myself from unncessary hurt and pain, the operative word here being unnecessary.
#227 – “You’ve always had the power.” Glinda the Good Witch says to Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz.
Although you might think others are smarter, better looking, better educated, more confident, the truth is you’ve always had the power too. Yes, you and me and everyone who is reading this blog today. So let’s keep telling ourselves this the next time we think we can’t do something. By the way this is one of Oprah’s favorite sayings of all time and look at how far she’s come.
#226 It’s the repitition of affirmations that leads to belief and once belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen. Muhammad Ali
The day after Golfer Rory McIlroy, 22, blew a four shot lead on the final day of the Master’s tournament to miss out on winning, he posted this quote on his Twitter account. He must have taken his own advice because he went on to win the next major open, posting the best winning score ever for a U. S. Open.
Here are a few general rules about afirmations.
1. Affirmations should be made in present time. Begin affirmations with the words, “I am…”.
2. Affirmations need to be believable to yourself. Believing your affirmation is what gives it power.
3. Use affirmations daily and repeat them as often as you can throughout the day.
4. Do not overload yourself with too many affirmation as you start this practice. Try starting with three affirmations a day.
5. Using affirmations daily is a fun and positive experience. If you think you have to do them or they are boring and not working, then they are and won’t.
6. Remember, always seek your own truth and what is right for you.
I’m posting this a day early because I think it’s one of my most helpful tips and I want you to have it as soon as possible.
#225 — “You win or lose according to your ability to withstand pressure.” From: Golf is My Game by Bobby Jones
Being self conscious increases the pressure to succeed because it puts your self worth on the line, which in turn can cause you to screw up at the most inopportune times. It helps if you can simply concentrate and even enjoy the process itself instead of worrying so much about the outcome.
#224 – Don’t wait for someone to fix you, save you or complete you. Oprah
You and you alone are responsible for your life. Only when you realize this will you be free.
#223 – “The only way to fix anything is one step at a time.” PMF Johnson, longtime computer programmer
Start with the most likely possibility and work your way down. Don’t forget that more than one thing can be wrong at a time.
We recently solved a plumbing problem this way ourselves, after spending a small fortune twice to get someone else to fix it. Very satisfying.
#222 – Trust but verify – Ronald Reagan
Assume the best until proven otherwise. But don’t rely solely on someone’s word. It takes time to build trust on both sides. There are some things that can’t be hurried. Also, as Oprah has said many times, ”If someone tells you who they are, believe them the first time.
#221 – “Part of being a leader requires that you speak up and take a chance.” Robert Gates – Secretary of Defense
“To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing,” he also said.
This was his sharp reply to Katy Couric’s question on Sixty Minutes – ”You’ve ruffled a few feathers. What do you say when people criticize you?”
It might help to ask yourself what will be the worst thing that can happen if you do so. And if it isn’t too bad, why not take a chance.
#220 – “Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness.” August Wilson
If you can name your flaws, you can manage them. For instance, if you have a spending problem, knowing that it’s worse when you are tired will help you to avoid stores at that time.
Naming my flaws and the triggers that cause me to act on them, has helped me. I hope it helps you too.
#219 – “When in doubt, do the positive.” Joy Laskas A.S.
When you possibly can, choose the positive. It’s a way of saying yes to life. Plus I think you’ll like yourself better, others will like you better and you will be happier in general. Continuously negative people are difficult to be around.
#218 – “We don’t need to take more than we need.” Tom Shadyac, movie producer.
He gave up a million dollar life to live smaller because the million dollar life did not make him happy and just overly complicated his life. If your stuff doesn’t make you happy and takes a lot of time to take care of, maybe it’s time to simplify your life and live a little smaller or even a lot smaller.
Something to think about.
#217 – Make an ideal relationship list for a friend as well as for a marriage partner. Time to Break Free by Judith R. Smith
When I’m deciding whether I want someone to be my friend, I think of the things that are most important to me. A few things I look for — common interests, honesty, respects my boundaries, keeps their word, listens and doesn’t hog every conversation, is generally positive, and is not a drama king or queen. I also try to remember that friendship is a two way street, nobody’s perfect, especially me, and that like most things, most folks are simply doing the best they can.
#216 – All people make mistakes, but only the wise ones learn from their mistakes.” – Winston Churchill
If you made a serious mistake or didn’t get a chance to say or do what you needed to say or do, chances are good that you will get a second chance and even a third chance to make it better.
What I know for sure is that when I am caught on the hop, I might not say everything I need to say or do at that time, but more than likely I will get another chance to make it right and the next time I will be prepared.
#215 – Dealing with Emotional Vampires – Judith Orloff MD, Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry and author of Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life
The most common types of emotional vampires are narcissist, victim, controller, constant talker, and drama queen. Your tone of voice is critical when dealing with them. Speak in a matter of fact or compassionate manner, set limits, and use not interested body language such as crossing your arms while calmly explaining that you have work to do. It takes practice, but it’s definitely worth it.
#214 – Knowing where to find the information and how to use it is the secret to success. – Albert Einstein
Finding information these days is easier than it has ever been and also difficult because there’s so much information out there. But it is out there — you just have to take the time to find it.
#213 – Respect Your Parents in Front of Your Children – Robyn Silverman, child development specialist
Every parent makes mistakes, some worse than others, but by treating your parents with respect, you are showing your children how to treat you when you too become old.
#212 — Reward yourself for your accomplishments.
To increase your success in life, reward yourself for any accomplishment you consider worthy. It worked for Pavlov’s dogs and it works for us humans too. For Peter and I that means a book and a special lunch out. Right now we’re a couple of lunches behind, a lovely thought.
For the people of Japan, please know you’re in our hearts and in our prayers.
#211 – “To be a great champion, you must believe you are the best. If you’re not, pretend you are.” Muhammad Ali
“Act as if” my old journalism professor used to tell us when he sent us out to interview a complete stranger who could care less about talking to us. ”Acting as if” has worked for a lot of famous people, so why not you?
Check out my e-book Evaleen the Queen at http://goo.gl/AQlat, an inspirational work of fiction about a young woman who starts a business under terrible family circumstances and during the Great Depression.
#210 – Holding on to your anger is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die. – Buddha
Holding on to your anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else but you are the one who gets burned. It helps me to try to change my thinking to something, anything more pleasant so I don’t waste my time giving free rent in my head to someone who has upset me and who I cannot do anything about.
Check out my e-book, Evaleen the Queen, an inspirational work of fiction now available at: http://goo.gl/AQlat
#209 – “If you don’t want me, I’m not going to let myself want you.” Oprah Winfrey
If someone doesn’t want you, they don’t want you. So stop wasting your time because with so many people in the world, there is someone perfectly wonderful who will want you. Your job is to put yourself out there so they can find you.
Check out my e-book, Evaleen the Queen, an inspirational work of fiction now available at: http://goo.gl/AQlat
#208 – Try Telling Your Boss the Things You Like. Napoleon Hill
Shock your boss — tell her or him what you like about your job and your boss. Focus on better serving your clients and customers instead of criticizing the boss or each other and instead look for the good.
Good luck to you today.
#207 – “First Things First.” From: Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.
In every situation or problem, there is always one step we can take that is more important than the others. By using “First Things First” as a guiding principle in our lives, it’s possible to live in an orderly, disciplined manner and be at peace with our choices.
As soon as I finish this post, I’m going to put up a sign on my desk as a reminder.
#206 “It’s not that I’m so smart; it’s just that I stay with problems longer.” Albert Einstein
Persevere. What often appears to happen overnight is the result of many years of hard work.
What a blessing it’s been to write this blog. The sheer discipline of having to come up with something new every week has helped me keep going and I hope by helping myself I am helping you too. Thanks to you all for sharing in this journey with me.
Sandy
