According to a Greek study, eating food fast reduces the release of appetite regulating hormones into your bloodstream. Spoil your dinner with 70 calories worth of nuts 20 minutes before you eat to jump start the release of feel-full hormones so you’ll eat less when you get to the table.

Time for the New Year’s resolutions and this seemed like a good one.

Sadly for so many, the holidays are an extremely lonely and difficult time. One of the best gifts you can give is to simply spend time with someone who is alone.

 Interesting note. I discovered this little book while waiting for an eye exam yesterday, a little holiday miracle in itself as I had another tip ready to go.

Have a happy holiday

And while you’re at it, give yourself the gift of not expecting people to be who you want them to be. Assume they’re not going to change and love them anyway.

Happy holidays and love to you on this icy Minnesota day.

Sandy

Peter and I celebrate with a small gift and a special dinner whenever either one of us accomplishes anything we consider worthwhile. It could be a sale of a poem or a short story, another thousand hits on my blog or it could be a nice rejection from an agent or editor. This encourages us to keep going when it’s tempting to give up.

If you are waiting for someone to encourage you or ackowledge you or praise your work, you may be waiting a long, long time. Natalie Cole placed an ”Encourage Yourself” sign on her computer, which I think is a terrific idea.

If you’re wondering what to give someone you care about this holiday season, but don’t have much money, how about buying a nice card (or making one) and writing down five things you really like about that person.  This is a unique gift that most people would never ever receive otherwise.    

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving,

The basic condition for being happy is our awareness that we are happy.   Take a moment to stop the busyness in your mind and be aware of whatever it is you personally have to be happy about right now. 

One thing I know for sure from my own experience is that happiness moments can be found even in the darkest times.

The author, a psychiatrist, draws on hostage-negotiation techniques to instruct readers on how to deal with angry bosses or self destructive management teams.

Being listened to and acknowledged is a good thing for everyone..

Love to you all on this hauntingly beautiful fall day.

Sandy

  So many times, I have done things and made choices that made me feel worse afterwards.  I have learned the hard way that choosing to act in a way that I can feel proud of, makes me genuinely happy.  Be good, be happy.  Simple but true.          

It might be difficult to discover and it might be something small.  It’s good to remember that no one is 100 percent difficult.  Once you figure this out, you will be able to deal with that person. It helps me to remember that no one is perfect, including me.  Life is usually 80/20 in the best of circumstances.

Do yourself a favor.  Take a minute now and then today to taste that cup of coffee, to notice what a lovely day it is, to revel in how good it feels simply to be alive.  Taking a minute to savor the lovely little details in your day doesn’t really interrupt anything else you’re doing and can add a bit of happiness to your life.

 As soon as I finish this, I am going to take a minute to savor a sip of cranberry juice.

A negative attitude towards yourself can also hurt you. Whenever you think something negative about someone or yourself, make an effort to change it to something positive or at least none-judgmental. If you do this enough, it will change your life. Good luck with this.

Or try saying, ”I understand your opinion, and if I were in your place, I might feel the same way.” Something I learned in an opinion polling class was that you can’t really change anybody’s mind unless they are on the fence in the first place.  Best not to waste your energy. 

Peace on this cool, wet October day,

Sandy

They also have many friends, strong family ties, a healthy dose of self-esteem, rank very low on neuroticism and do not act or feel their chronological age. On the other hand they were never obese nor did they smoke significantly.

 Something to think about on this cool September day.

Sandy

At each point, determine what your next step is, and do that. You can learn what you need to know as you go along.

Goodbye Elaine. Have an amazing journey.

As Oprah Winfrey discovered when her relatives kept hitting her up for money, you don’t share your wealth, you share their poverty. Her response these days is simply, “I am not a bank.”

You can have your emotions as long as you have them, but you don’t need to act on them.  The anger or sadness you are feeling may be inside of you at present, but it isn’t who you are.  Try shifting your thoughts from, “I am angry” to “there is anger or sadness” within me.”  

 Good luck with this and love to you on this fine September morning. 

 Sandy

It’s a losing battle to attempt to win the approval of someone who does not care for you. The only thing that will happen is your self esteem will be shot. You can’t like everybody and everybody can’ t like you. So stop giving that person free rent in your head, try not to take it personally and avoid them if you possibly can.

It’s fall here.  Almost time to pick the Concord grapes that are overwhelming our back fence.

“You have to force yourself to get out and do something,” an elderly food demonstrator at my local grocery store said to me when I asked her about her job. I thought about what she said later and have been thinking about it ever since. She’s right. It’s easy to sit around and do nothing. Sometimes you just have to push yourself, especially if you want to accomplish anything.

 Asking yourself that question puts everything in perspective.  More often than not what seems of great concern today will be just an irrelevant blip in your life a year from now.  The interesting subhead to the book states, “Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things from Taking Over Your Life.” 

 Another lovely, precious, fleeting summer day,

We are all so busy working and worrying about whatever it is we need to do next, that we seldom take time to do something simply because we enjoy it. Today, ask yourself what will give you pleasure and then make an effort to do it.

I’m having fun with this idea.  Hope you are too.

Everyone likes to talk.  No one likes to listen, or so it seems.  Paying attention to people will set you apart from the herd and help you to become more successful.  I think of listening and paying attention as a kind of gift I can give to people, which benefits everybody, including me.                

The first tomato from our garden was delicious.

Two other tricks that have been extensively tested in the lab and have practical applications are: putting on a happy face really does lift your spirits and you can make yourself somewhat angry or afraid just by making those expressions.   So whenever you must face a difficult situation, take a private moment to yawn and smile.  If nothing else, you’ll feel better.  

Striving for perfection can be demoralizing. It’s like trying to work with your inner critic looking over your shoulder for mistakes, correcting you every step of the way and berating you for your failings.  Let go of the need to be perfect.   Think: “Progress not Perfection.”

 It is the daily act of trying to accomplish something meaningful, not the successful completion of a task, that gives us our greatest satisfaction.  So do your best today and let the future take care of itself.

 Time to pick some peas and lettuce.   Happy delicious summer.

Handling rejection is necessary if you want to succeed.  Too many people just give up.  They don’t realize that to get to the yeses, you first must hear the no’s.   Analyze your failures and make the necessary corrections, then move on.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will get to that yes.

 Using the word “because” increases the persuasiveness of your request.   Studies have shown that using ”because” increases the likelihood that someone will say yes to your request by fifty percent.   As in, Would you please move this furniture because the rain will ruin it otherwise.

 Do take care on this very hot day,

Sandy

A habit takes 21 days to establish and it will take at least that long to break. When you are trying to break a habit, give yourself frequent rewards for good behavior. Positive reinforcement works on people as well as animals. Know you will be mightily tempted when you are feeling stressed. When you do slip, don’t beat yourself up which could make matters worse, just remind yourself that what you are doing is difficult but in your own best interest. It helps me to remember, “Progress Not Perfection.”

I have regretted a lot of things in my life, but I have never once regretted being kind.  In fact just the opposite.   Years later, it still gives me pleasure to remember those times.

A bright blessed day to you,

When I get to obsessing about something that I can do nothing about, I do simple math problems in my head. This changes my focus from the right side of the brain (the feeling, intuitive side) to the left side of the brain (the detail-oriented, logic side). The result is usually peace and a good night’s sleep. Give it a try and see if this works for you when thinking about someone or something is keeping you up nights.

This is a repeat of #69 – we are on vacation this week.

Take a moment to enjoy all the little, beautiful things in your life today.

To build trust and be a person of integrity, be careful when you give your word that you really mean what you are saying. Know that most of the time what people think has everything to do with them and nothing to do with you. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings. By doing your best, which can change from day to day, you can stop being filled with regret about what you did or didn’t get right.

All the successful people that Napoleon Hill interviewed for his book had two traits in common:  They looked for the good in every situation and they were positive.  Don’t let your own negative thoughts keep you down.  Try always to be looking for the good.  It could change your life.

What might you accomplish if you did five things every day in the  years to come towards a big goal of yours?  If five is too many, try two or three.  According to  Robert Collier, the principle of doing something every day towards a big goal is powerful.

Clutter clouds your mind and saps your energy. My method of clutter control is to set the timer for 15 minutes, then spend that time clearing something out. After 15 minutes, I get a reward like a chapter of a book and a piece of candy. Treating myself like one of Pavlov’s dogs works for me. I am always surprised at how much clutter I can get rid of in 15 minutes of concentrated effort.

This is something I learned years ago in a behaviour modification class I took at the University of Minnesota.  That class changed my life.  

Here’s to simplifying our lives.