In her book, Rethinking Positive Thinking, she suggests something she calls mental contrast whereby you imagine success but also imagine several of your own behaviours that could keep you from succeeding. What she discovered was that the students who did the mental contrast out performed those who did positive thinking alone. Obviously being mindful not just of your dreams but also of the real barriers that you or the world places in your way, is a far more effective way of achieving your goals.
Resentments of others makes you feel like a victim and costs you self esteem. Instead of focusing on others whom you can do nothing about, change your own thinking. It helps to have a few positive thinking mantras such as, “I am a worthy person and I deserve to be treated well,” that you can repeat to yourself when you find yourself obsessing about someone or something you cannot change.
Simply put, do your best and don’t worry about the outcome.
Read my latest e-book: Charlotte Parker – 49er. I think you’ll enjoy it. http://tinyurl.com/8rjdma2
Gratitude listing is a simple five-minute habit anyone can adopt that can make you a happier person. and happier people attract the best of everything life has to offer. Listing five things you are grateful for every morning before that first cup of coffee is a great way to start your day.
Check out my e-book, Charlotte Parker – 49er at: http://www.amazon.com/Charlotte-Parker-Forty-Sandra-Rector-ebook/dp/B009GIYNVE
Add to that another old saying, “Winners never quit and quitters never win.”
What’s so interesting to me, is often winners I have known are not aware when they have succeeded because they are so busy plugging along, simply doing what they need to do next.
This is from my husband who has a lot of friends and this why. He puts in the energy. His grandfather was the same way and also had a lot of friends. It’s easy not to and most people won’t, but if you want to have friends, it is up to you, not them to keep the friendship going.
Conversely, waking up each day and devoting yourself to being kind, even and especially to people who are not kind to you, is actually incredibly difficult. It is arduous and deliberate work, and the doing of it will at times make you feel small and foolish. What’s more, in the end, it will on its own merits almost never yield a person awards or honors or riches. But it is important work and needs to be done for its own sake.
Treat money with respect. Fight the urge to spend your money on things you don’t need or will lose interest in quickly. There’s no misery like being broke. Knowing you can pay the rent and buy groceries for months to come is worth more than buying something you want but don’t need right now.
Check out my new blog at: http://goodybowls.wordpress.com/
Sometimes the urge to buy something expensive we don’t need overwhelms us, especially if we are carrying cash. By keeping the cash you carry down to enough for a cup of coffee or some lunch and your credit cards at home, you won’t have to fight the urge while buying time to decide if you really want that thing or not.
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality. If you can become immune to the opinions of others, you will save yourself from needless suffering.
Check out my book about a young woman who struggles against great odds to follow her own dreams.
Evaleen from Rags to Riches: http://tinyurl.com/a5zvzpx
It doesn’t mean the simple answer is the easy or painless one, but it is the one that resonates with the deepest part of who we are. As human beings, we intuitively know if something works for us or not, or if we like something or someone or not.
Evaleen From Rags to Riches: http://tinyurl.com/a5zvzpx
Change the way you think by learning to identify negative thoughts and changing them to a positive affirmation. This can actually change the way you feel about yourself and your situation and add joy to your life.
The older I get, the more I realize that people who have a lot of success also have a happy accident or two in the beginning of their career that changes their life. Only requirement is that you have to be out there working for it to happen.
Read my e-book Evaleen from Rags to Riches. She also had a few happy accidents. Available at: http://tinyurl.com/a5zvzpx
When subjects were asked to rate former work colleagues, scientists found those with the most influence were the best listeners not talkers. The reason? Hearing what colleagues have to say fosters two key elements for gaining influence: forming trust and learning new information.
Read the adventures of a woman who made it the hard way at:
Evaleen From Rags to Riches http://tinyurl.com/a5zvzpx
Most wealthy Americans get there by saving diligently month by month. Something to remember when you’re tempted to spend your money on something you don’t need and that will give you little pleasure in the long run.
If you want great results, you have to take a chance on all of the above.
Evaleen – From Rags to Riches, a work of fiction who does all of the above and more in her effort to succeed.
Now available at Amazon.com at: http://tinyurl.com/a5zvzpx
Being angry or negative hurts you more than it hurts anyone else. If you can possibly do so, replace your destructive thoughts with hope-filled, positive ones. What I know for sure is that the more I let go of being upset about people or things I can do nothing about, the happier and more peaceful I am.
Check out my e-book, Evaleen – From Rags to Riches. It’s about a young woman who struggles to succeed in spite of really difficult circumstances. It’s available on Amazon at: http://tinyurl.com/a5zvzpx
If you want to make a good impression, practice making a conscious effort to hear and understand what someone is saying to you. This alone will make you stand out.
According to the Buddha, all suffering comes from clinging too tightly to people or things. By letting go you can stop obsessing about things you have no control over and be at peace.
Peace to you today.
“It’s okay to try things and fail,” she said, stating on “Katie” that some of her biggest successes appeared to be huge failures at first.
Check out my book, Evaleen – From Rags to Riches, for the story of someone who personifies this tip.
Available at: http://tinyurl.com/ccsemgn
The more you let go of your old grievances, the happier and more at peace you will be. Life is too short to worry about things you can do nothing about. Better to forgive and forget for your own peace of mind.
There will always be naysayers, people who have their own reasons why you shouldn’t do something or be someone. Avoid them if you possibly can.
check out my e-book, Evaleen – From Rags to Riches, a work of fiction about a young woman’s journey to become successful both in her private life and in business in spite of her terrible circumstances. http://tinyurl.com/a5zvzpx
When coaches tell pitchers to trust your stuff, they mean don’t try to be perfect. Do your best and trust that it will work out. If there is a setback, continue to trust that you are already good enough to be where you are.
According to a University of Colorado Denver study, organizations, as well as people, who fail spectacularly are more likely to flourish in the long run because they learn more from failure than from success and retain the knowledge longer. Or as that old saying goes, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” Good luck!
There will always be someone who doesn’t like you or approve of you at one time or another. “Don’t get too affected by them or even allow them to bring you down. Just let it go, and move on with life. Let God, or if you don’t believe in God, let the universe deal with them on its own.” This from Will Smith.
Check out my e-book, Evaleen – From Rags to Riches to see how she deals with this problem.
Check out Evaleen – From Rags to Riches: http://tinyurl.com/a5zvzpx
When I get to obsessing about something that I can do nothing about, I do simple math problems in my head. This changes my focus from the right side of the brain (the feeling, intuitive side) to the left side of the brain (the detail-oriented, logic side). The result is usually peace and a good night’s sleep. Give it a try and see if this works for you when thinking about someone or something is keeping you up nights.
Check out my e-book Evaleen – From Rags to Riches available at: http://tinyurl.com/a5zvzpx
First impressions are not always correct. Friendships, love affairs and relationships in general take time to develop.
The brain learns from failure. If you never had any failure in your life, you probably weren’t trying hard enough. Speaking of learning from failure, Check out Evaleen – From Rags to Riches: http://tinyurl.com/a5zvzpx
Even if you don’t say a word, people can sense if you don’t like them or are judging them harshly. Better to think positive about them if you possibly can, especially if you must deal with them on a regular basis.
You can choose to be happy and have an attitude of gratitude or you can concentrate on the negative and moan about your fate. We all have good and bad in our lives. Happiness is a choice.
Small gestures can send big signals about who we are, what we care about, and why people should want to affiliate with us. It’s harder (and more important) to be kind than to be clever.
Happy holidays and don’t forget to be kind to yourself too.
It’s okay to be scared and uncertain. It just means you are in a period of change when anything can happen. Uncertainty is a necessary part of getting where you want to go.
What upsets you today could change tomorrow. Acting on an initial emotion often leads us to do things we regret and can cause trouble later. Give yourself time to reflect before jumping to conclusions.
You can’t please everybody any more than you can like everybody. Nor by the same token, can everybody please you or like you. Those are just the facts of life. Best to face it, learn whatever you can from it, and move on. Life is way too short to worry about things you can do nothing about.
Check out my e-book: Evaleen – From Rags to Riches now available on Amazon at: http://tinyurl.com/a5zvzpx
“That a person can, by assuming two simple 1-min poses, embody power and instantly become more powerful has real-world, actionable implications. Go to the following website to see both high power and low power poses.
She also said that vulnerability is about showing up and letting yourself be seen for who you really are. It’s tough to do when we’re terrified about what people might say or think. But by letting people see who you really are, your life could be incredibly enriched.
Everyone I have ever known has had problems in their family and in their life. In addition, there will always be people who do not approve of you. It’s just life. Don’t let that stop you from becoming who you want to become.
Check out my latest e-book: http://bit.do/CrazyLittleLies Now available as an e-book on Amazon.
But you can’t choose both. It’s a lot easier to do nothing than it is to actually stick your neck out and take a chance, but if you you don’t try, for sure nothing will happen.
Check out my latest e-book: http://bit.do/CrazyLittleLies
Lying to ourselves or others; Constantly seeking validation from others; Talking or thinking negatively; Tolerating people, things or situations that are bad for us;, Having ridiculous expecations of ourselves or others; Taking life too seriously.
These are also some major ways to make you fail in life in general.
Posted in happiness, Inspiration, life and love, life coach, Motivational, new thought, positive psychology, Positive Thinking, Self Help, Success
Tagged Check out my e-book, Evaleen - From Rags to Riches available at Amazon:
Ask yourself what is and isn’t working for you. And if something isn’t working, make an effort to try something else.
Speaking of someone who must constantly change to succeed, check out my e-book. Evaleen – From Rags to Riches. http://tinyurl.com/a5zvzpx
According to Stables, a liar will always avoid answering a simple yes or no question. Also in his book are some strategies to box a liar in and force an answer that may also reveal if someone is telling you a lie.
Check out my e-book: Evaleen – From Rags to Riches: http://tinyurl.com/a5zvzpx
This comes from an interview she did on 60 minutes. Coming from the rough and tumble world of the Bronx, she is a living example of what being stubborn about trying can do.
Check out one of my e-books today about a woman who also struggles stubbornly to succeed.
Evaleen – From Rags to Riches: http://tinyurl.com/a5zvzpx
If you are becoming obsessed with negative thoughts about someone, try following your negative thought with a positive one about them if you possibly can. People can sense when you don’t like them and sometimes you have to deal with them no matter how you feel. Try this and see if it changes the dynamic between you. If nothing else, you will feel better.
Check out my e-book: Evaleen – From Rags to Riches: http://tinyurl.com/a5zvzpx
As Dale Carnegie also said, “Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.
Check out my latest e-book Chez Tulips Stories and Recipes: http://tinyurl.com/brnevxh
Might be a good exercise to see if you can actually visualize yourself being successful. And if not, why not?
Check out my latest e-book, Chez Tulips – Stories and Recipes. It comes complete with a simple and delicious recipe for Chocolate Truffles among others. Available at: http://tinyurl.com/brnevxh
Research shows that older people’s less materialistic spending habits are one of the biggest reasons that happiness increases with age. Long term peace of mind is more important than the temporary thrill of buying something you really don’t need. And from my own experience, I know that there is no anxiety quite like that of being broke and worrying about money.
Check out my new e-book, Chez Tulips – Stories and Recipes. The truffles are simple to make and wonderful. http://tinyurl.com/brnevxh
“You must forgive and at least try to forget if you want to get ahead in life,” Ben Affleck said last night in his speech at the Academy Awards. A favorite line of mine from the Course of Miracles is: Forgiveness is the key to happiness.
Check out my latest book, Chez Tulips – Stories and Recipes at http://tinyurl.com/brnevxh
Science of elite performance studies have shown that people who feel anxious during a test actually do better. That same study states that their anxiety and insecurity help them focus.
So it’s okay to be nervous and insecure, just don’t use it as an excuse to quit.
It’s easy to get lost in the details and overwhelmed by a large project. Find a way to break it down into smaller projects and work on one piece at a time. This will give you a quick win and a feeling of accomplishment. At the same time you will be chipping away at the big project, which chip away enough, and you will get it done.
This is the sort of information that contributed heavily to Sonia Sotomayor becoming a supreme court judge. When she became a federal judge in 1992, she says she was so terrified, that her knees were literally knocking together. She grew up in a housing project in the Bronx in a dysfunctional family. The one thing she said she learned was to depend completely on herself.
Check out my latest e-book, Charlotte Perkins – Gold Digger, now available at Amazon.com Only $2.99 http://tinyurl.com/anabr4o
Just happened to hear this today from an interview with this football player. So no need to worry about the outcome, just do the work little by little and it will get done.
Make me happy – purchase my e-book Evaleen the Queen or Charlotte Perkins – Gold Digger or Running Away to Santa Fe, all available at Amazon.com for $2.99 each. All three books are about women who, like me and most everyone else I have ever known, struggle to succeed against difficult odds.
Write down where you live, where you work, whether you have kids, and try to describe an ordinary day. This will help you think what is possible for you.
Check out my latest e-book, Charlotte Perkins – Gold Digger. http://tinyurl.com/d67mzt6